Yep, white people have lost their damn minds alright. Here's our latest case, David Stewart.
A black delivery driver in Oklahoma City had just delivered an appliance to a customer in a gated community when — as he was exiting — two white men blocked him in with a vehicle and interrogated him about why he was there. Why won’t white peoples leave us alone? pic.twitter.com/42vohZtZjm— chris evans (@notcapnamerica) May 15, 2020
I want to know who convinced every white dude in America he's Batman? You know, fuck Batman, he did fight bad guys. These idiots believe they've all been deputized by their own whiteness to hold black people hostage whenever they feel like.
They're actually dickmatized by their own dicks! This is the best explanation for white men. No one else is dickmatized by them, I can tell you that. So they become obsessed with their own white dicks and believe that thing is a magic wand bestowing all kinds of power on them.
Meanwhile, they can't even bring a woman to orgasm with it.
But they're out there stepping all over anyone who is non-white.
This dude held a black man against his will (hello, that's kidnapping) under the authority invested in him as...President of his HOA.
Oh well, look out! Here comes the HOA prez. Look sharp everybody!
Are you fucking kidding me? But he's not. All these HOA's and condominium boards are like this. Packed full of white people who got a hold of a tiny bit of power. And we're talking tiny here. But it's enough. It's enough. They get all inflated and next thing you know they're all up in your business.
I've lived in condominiums where the white board members went so crazy they became obsessed with pumpkins. As in, you can't have a pumpkin in your garden.
"Well, why not? It's Halloween."
"Doesn't matter. Not permitted."
"They attract squirrels and they are forbidden!"
I used to have some fun with these nazis. Saluting them, mocking their nazi waddles. But since I'm white, I don't think I realized that they were literal nazis until later. I mean, I wasn't popular at this condo, I can tell you that. But since I was white, they never kidnapped me, shot me, or called the police on me.
Of course they were the kind of people who would amp it up when it came to non-whites.
They need to stick to their natural gifts as local ass inspectors.
See? Ass inspectors. I used to work at this high-falutin luggage company on Long Island. They suddenly decided to hire an efficiency guy. I think they called him the COO or something. Whatever. Right away I pegged him (no, not that kind of pegging! believe me, you wouldn't want to peg this dude) as an ass inspector. My cubicle mate (and just thinking of the days when I had a cubicle mate made me shudder) had no idea what I was talking about.
"What's an ass inspector?"
I could tell she was kind of horrified.
"You know, an ass inspector," I told her. "My grandma always uses that phrase, I think it's self-explanatory, no?"
So one day he actually walked into our cubicle with a fucking thermometer, took the temperature in several different nooks, and then said,
When he left, without a word of explanation but, ludicrously, with the air of a man on an important mission, I said to Clarice, my cubicle mate:
"See, that's an ass inspector. Do you get it now?"
And actually, she did. She even laughed and she wasn't big on that either, most of the time.
"Keep your eyes open, he could come back with a rectal thermometer" I warned.
White people have gone completely nuts these days. And to be honest, they didn't start out as poster people for mental health. Do I think it's Trump? That they feel they've been double-deputized now that one of their own is President? They're "own" meaning a racist piece of shit? Yeah, I do think so. I think these people were always racist pieces of shit, but Trump being President has excited the devils of their worst natures.
That's why a majority of whites are still planning to vote Trump in November. To give this buffoonish demagogue four more years. He's destroyed our country and our futures, but they want more.
White people are fucked up in this country. I don't want to claim them, but I'm white and I must. I wish I could collect them, believe me.
I can vote. So can you.
Vote. Vote. Vote.
If Trump gets close he'll steal it.
Trump cannot get close.
Vote. Vote. Vote.