This Week on Long Island

I really hate going to car dealerships.  I know that they're hellpits of misogyny and racism.  

I once dated a car salesman after he sold me a car.   This was in my very early 20's and actually my dad bought me a new car.  There was a catch; my dad would only buy Fords.  But you can't complain when someone buys you a car, especially a brand new one.

So I walked into the Ford dealership on 112 in Medford, picked out a pretty cute little Ford Escort sporty model, in red, and walked out with a new boyfriend.

Yeah, I was that chick.

What can I say?  

My first real boyfriend was a mechanic, so I guess the smell of oil and cars turned me on.  Or used to.

I got a little older and a little smarter, and I really try and avoid both mechanics and car dealers now.  But I lease a new car every three years, so I do have to deal with these guys.  I know exactly what I'm walking into now though.

It's probably the same everywhere, but on Long Island we always throw in a little special sauce.

Take a look at this:



Here is one of the victims' statement:  “Please help me catch this couple that harassed me because I'm an immigrant. They also threw beer at us (my friend also has an accent). My 10-year-old witnessed this. They ruined my son's first basketball game experience. Someone else recorded this but, by the time the officers showed up, they left the station. I'm too nervous to talk right now and the footage is bad. If you hear anything, please let me know so that I can add it to the police report.”

So there was a child there.

Anyway these two were identified as Justin Likerman and Kristen Caravana, and both worked at Empire Toyota in Huntington.  Worked past tense because they were both fired.

And yes, that's how some people on Long Island really dress.  I know.

You might wonder why I live on Long Island when I so obviously hate it here.  Well, first of all, it's one of the best places in the country to be during summertime.  Unfortunately, there's the rest of the year.  You know; most of the year.

I can work from anywhere, that's the kind of job I have.   But my mom is here, and my wonderful nieces and nephews.   I have a darling little nephew who hangs up on his friends on his iPad to take my facetime calls, and when I told him I want to have a pizza night with him and his little sister for my birthday says "well, we can get the pizza."

Wait till his parents hear.  LOL

Anyway, though I may leave some day, it won't be now.  

As you can see from this video, when I tell you I'm surrounded by, I am surrounded by meatheads.

Meatheads and the white women who uphold them.  That's Long Island.  

Do all the men sound like they are auditioning for a part on The Sopranos?  No, but a lot of them do.  

"Look forward!  Look forward!  I'm gonna get arrested tonight!" is basically the Long Island mating call.  And I do look forward to it.  But, of course, you'll notice, he wasn't arrested.  He was fired, so that's something.

I'm going to try and do a weekly update from Long Island. I should have been doing that all along, we got it all here. And with the midterms coming up, and Trump going on his Nazi tour, things are about to heat up again.

Suffolk county in particular is MAGA territory and Trumpy will probably come visit us again.  I would go just to film it for here, but, if you can believe it, Long Islanders get there very early, and wait for many long hours in line, to see this:



Maybe in the hopes he'll dance:


Because if there's one thing Long Island doesn't have enough of, it's white dudes dancing badly.

Trump's visits are that special day when Long Island meatheads unite for a field trip, so I dunno about going to a Trump appearance to video the badly-dressed unwashed, violence-prone, imbeciles.  We'll have to see.

Leave a comment