Hey, remember when Ivanka Trump advised the millions of newly unemployed Americans to "find something new"?
Well it looks like Ivanka not only took her own advice, but she got Dad onboard with finding something new too!
Dang, the whole family's hawking beans!
This must be their tryout for the Trump family post-Presidency (are we calling this a Presidency?) careers. They should be in orange jumpsuits, and a lot of liberals will tell you they will be. I'm not going to tell you that. That's never been the way the world, or this country, works.
They're not going to prison. They should, but they won't. If I'm wrong, nobody will be happier than me! But I'm not.
Well, hawking beans from the Oval Office. He sure has made America great again, hasn't he? I'm so proud. Boy his cultists sure were right! I am tired of winning! I am begging him, please, please, no more winning!
And to think about how lucky we are, to have all this, when we could have ended up with something awful, like our Canadian friends did:
Imagine, a leader who actually leads, does some shit about the virus, and then you can go to bed and fantasize about boning him. I hate those fucking Canadians! And they won't even let us in now! Do I blame them? NO! But I'm still pissed. Why aren't I Canadian? Why did God do this to me?
Oh Lord, I'm so tired of winning. Please Lord, no more. I can't take any more winning Lord. Please.
I wonder what Eric and Don Jr, are gonna shill when this national nightmare ends? I see Jr. doing some kind of Aqua Velva sales, maybe door-to-door? Trying to convince everyone it's the new Axe body spray, and everybody will be like, man nobody even wears Axe anymore, why would we want the 1917 version?
Eric I'm convinced is the moron of the family, and I write that in full awareness that the Trump family IQ average is 81. So think about what the family moron looks like. Well, you don't have to think (It's just like being a Republican!), I'll show you:
I bet Eric starts selling douches for men. Adam's Eve, he'll call it. Because why should only women get to feel fresh? He's gonna convince somebody this is a million-dollar idea, watch.