Now that my bff has been called back to work in NYC, I am living alone again. It's weird because before Covid I had gotten so used to it and in fact, enjoyed it. She moved in with me in December of 2020, and left exactly one year later. It took me a couple of months not to miss having her in the second bedroom, and shuffling around my apartment. She does shuffle! I feel as if in the months after Christmas this year, I have been in some sort of suspended limbo. Living alone without my best friend to chat with, unable to go on my beloved bike rides, no live music...just working and streaming. Just waiting.
And now it's April, and I've been outside and it's awoken the dreamy part of my mind.
Of course we haven't hit summer yet, just the first stirrings of spring. There's been too much rain, but in between I have managed to start running outside again. I love any months that aren't the true winter months, because you can get outside more often than not. This weekend I'm breaking out the bike, sadly packed away for winter, and hitting Bethpage State Bike Trail.
All of this is making me ponder what I'm going to do this summer. Last summer, my first post-Covid one, I dubbed "Summer of the Fuckboy", but I don't see a repeat on the horizon.
The only decision I've made so far is that I am going to spend Fourth of July weekend on Fire Island. The Fourth is Monday, so I am going to go on Saturday, and come back Wednesday morning. I'll be staying at The Palms. I haven't stayed there since summer 2019, though I did go on a couple of day trips to Fire Island last summer. I really feel like Fire Island is kind of over, and I didn't feel like staying. The problem is, I really am not up for the long drives I used to take to my beloved Cape Cod. So I don't know. Maybe I'll change my mind and hit the Cape at some point, we'll see. I have been considering staying in Hyannis and ferrying over to the Vineyard. I don't see myself doing Provincetown again, since I practically lived there for a few summers pre-Covid, it too, feels over to me.
Staying on the Vineyard during the summer is so crazy expensive that I would be much better served taking that money and staying at Gurney's Montauk. The drive is so much shorter. But post-Covid I am just not going to ever throw away that kind of money again.
I got rehooked on e-cigs over this lonely winter. So I am on the nicotine patch. Talk about dreams. The nicotine patch has always had this weird side-effect on me. It causes such vivid dreams. I still remember one of the first ones I had, about an android who fought monsters for me and became my lover. Oh, the sex in patch-dreams? Ah-mazing. Android lover sex dreams on the patch? Well, I'm still not over him.
I've looked it up of course, and it's a very normal side-effect. I kind of love them? Well, sometimes. I mean, some are awesome, but you can get stuck in a bad one. So you pretty much put in your money, get on the ride, and know you may have the time of your life or you may wake up screaming in terror.
I don't mind risks, so I go with it. Last night I dreamt that one of my ex's contacted me to tell me he's dying. Now, to be clear, a different ex of mine told me that in your dreams, you are every person. So you are always dreaming about yourself. He said a lot of BS things though, and he voted for Bernie Sanders, so this might not even be true, but to be on the safe side? I really don't like dreaming about anyone dying.
But the ex in the dream made me come over to his house (this was all so real!) and told me he's leaving me a lot of money. So, that part was good. If that happened, I might even stay at the Vineyard this summer! LOL
Meanwhile, I had to have a skin cancer removed from my face. Just basil-cell and I've had them before, but I will need a couple of weeks before I am going out at night. Soon though...soon I will be at Eleanor's and then by Memorial Day I will be everywhere.
Honestly, Long Island is filled with meatheads (Joey Buttafuoco is not an outlier here) but it's such a wonderful place to spend your summer.
I plan on being at The Boatyard and The Salt Shack every week, likely kicking the summer off Memorial weekend at The Boatyard. I have moved past 2021, which was definitely my shot-girl summer, and I have no regrets; it was a blast! But I am looking at summer 22 as more about fun, music, my vape, and rocket fuels. I haven't even been thinking about meeting men. Do men too, feel "over" for me? I will let you know!
But he would have to be magnificent. Otherwise? I'd rather go for a bike ride.