Staten Island and the Battle of the Food Court

All my life I've refused to set foot on Staten Island.  God, the clothes and hairstyles alone...and I'm from Long Island.  Not exactly a cosmopolitan setting.  I mean, one of our best-known towns is actually called "Hicksville".

Still, you think Mid-Suffolk County is New York's capital of trashy dumfuckery and then you meet someone from Staten Island.  

That's basically my life, hating where I live, knowing I'm not with my tribe, but also being grateful I wasn't born on Staten Island.  Like, shit could be worse. Could be better though.  Believe me I'd rather move into Manhattan or Brooklyn but I have family obligations which prevent it.   

Anyway, the most Staten Island thing ever happened this weekend when a bunch  of them got hopped up on Ivermectin-laced blue slurpees and stormed a mall food court.



Look how proud they are like  they are fighting on the beaches of Normandy.  They're fighten for that there freedom!

The Freedom to eat mall food while infecting others with Covid!  That's in the Constitution.

I don't know if there's anything  more American than a bunch of fat people storming a fucking food court and screaming "USA USA LET'S EAT LET'S EAT"

And that's exactly what they screamed, I swear to God I'm not making this up.  

No pre-existing conditions in this crowd either!





Yeah.  I'm not making fun of someone for being fat, I don't care.  I'm telling you that if you are as fat as some in that picture and you're not vaccinated, and you get Covid, your chances of dying are way up there.  What the fuck is wrong with you?  And this was Saturday.  When I tell you Saturday was a beautiful day in New York, believe me it was a beautiful day in New York.  I was on a 17 mile bike ride that day.  You stormed a fucking mall food court, refused to show proof of vaccination, and screamed "LET'S EAT".

I want you to stop, really sit there and think about your life.  Think about what you want to do with it.  Then get up from the fucking food court and go for a walk and get some sun.  Feel alive.  See if that ignites anything in you.

Americans storming food courts screaming about their freedom to eat trash junk food.  


And we even have Pete Davidson who could have worked some real magic with a skit like this, since he's from there, and for some inexplicable reason refuses to move.  Or, maybe not so inexplicable.  Maybe for the same reason I can't leave the hellhole that is Suffolk County.  Family.

Is there anything that limits and constricts us more than family?  But what would we be without family?

It's all so Catch-22 I can't stand it. 

Anyway, that's This Week in America for you.  Our real enemies, whoever they are, (and they're not Democrats you morons)  laughed and smirked and said "yeah, keep eating".  

Trust that.  You fucking stupid fools. 





Leave a comment