On White Dudes and Their Delicate Feelings

I spent this weekend in Mattituck on the east end of Long Island.  This is the North Fork of eastern long island, and considered less celebrity-adjacent than the South Fork.  The South Fork is where you go if you want to be among the ostentatiously beautiful, or are hoping to see Bennifer. 

The North Fork is still very wealthy and filled with beauty, both human and scenic but you are much less likely to see a famous person.  If you go to Claudio's in Greenport, you may spot one or two though.

Anyway, I absolutely love the North Fork and the wineries that dot its beautiful landscape. 

After attending a concert on the beach I was hanging out with a group of people, all monied, a mix of men, women, singles, and couples.  

One of my friends mentioned twice that "none of you white dudes" were wearing sunscreen.  They were all majorly sunburned so she was right.  They didn't exactly let the remark go the first time, but they absolutely exploded the second time she mentioned it. 

This lead me to my question: Why do white men get so mad when you point out that they're white men?

We are talking big mad here. 

One really blew up and demanded to know if she was "prejudiced".

White dudes, what seems to be the problem?

Why you so mad?  You fucking know you're white, right?  You know you're a man?   Why are you fuming when someone says you're white and you're a man?

I have this theory that white men know it's white men who fucked everything, including the planet.  So any mention of their gender or race infuriates them.

It's their guilty conscience speaking.

And also of course, they feel very oppressed on account of they can't use the n word anymore.   So if they can't use racial slurs how come you can mention their race? 

This is how fucking stupid they are.  

I was like, fuck this let's go to Claudio's.

I proceeded to get completely wasted, danced, and then passed out at my friend's house.  It's been pointed out to me that getting really drunk is not a great way to find a fuckboy.  I mean, it is a great way to pick someone up if you want a one night stand, but I want a casual summer fling with a guy who is not a total stranger.

I would love it if he wasn't a total asshat as well.

As you can imagine this excludes much of the kind of crowds I'm usually around. 

But I did have a great time!  

On Sunday I hit Borgese Vinyards and had several amazing Rosés, two of which I brought home with me.  

I think it's been an under-appreciated fact of my life that Long Island is one of the great summer places, and there is no need to travel in the summer when you live here.  

Between Fire Island, Shelter Island, the Hamptons, the wineries of the North Fork, Long Beach, and beautiful Montauk, it's kind of crazy to leave here in the summer.

Winter is when you want to leave Long Island.   I mean, the asshats are here all year round, but where there's men, there are asshats, and men are kind of a planetary issue.  

I bet you could go into all 50 states, say something totally innocuous about "white men", and in all 50 states, white men will flip out.  There's really nothing you can do about it.  They're kinda snowflakes.



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