My Roaring 20's

In late 2019 I had this epiphany that the 20's were going to be my last juicy decade.  Listen, Botox works and if you don't overdo the fillers and have good genes, these days you easily look a decade younger.   Through a process of trial and error I have discovered that I don't really like fillers.  A tiny bit around my mouth - skip the cheek fillers they will make you look jacked fast.  

Learn about PDO thread lifts.  Use the strongest retinol product your skin can handle.  Botox.   That's about it.  You can do this without looking like some celebrities and making it hurt to look at you, believe me.  You just have to be judicial about it.  And don't get addicted. 

If you are struggling financially then just do the drug store retinol and sunscreen.  Probably the two best things you can do anyway and don't feel bad because we are all basically struggling now, it's just a matter of degree.  Certainly I don't have the money I had pre-covid. I realized in late 2019 that once the 2020's ended I would be old.  And there really wouldn't be any covering that up.  People might say "she's attractive for her age" but they would be adding that qualifier...for her age.  More likely they'd be saying "boy she can still move at her age" and start talking about me as an "inspiration" or "old lady goals".  

This decade was it for me, for any wild times I still wanted to have.  Not to say that I couldn't have great times later, but my kinda wild streak?  Well, that would have to be quashed.  

My bff and I talked about it and agreed that this decade needed to be our own personal "roaring 20's".  

We made reservations for New Orleans and the Caribbean.  We had plans man.

One of my biggest mottos is "Man plans, God laughs" so this shouldn't have come as a surprise to me. 

I wrote 2020 off and dedicated myself to staying alive so I could begin my roaring 20's one year late in 2021.

And you know, for a brief but very shining moment in 2021, after I was fully vaccinated, and before that bitch Delta really got going, I did roar.

And people, it was glorious.  I went out all the time.  I even made out with a couple of men I didn't know well.  I felt young again.  I thought I had the whole decade (God willing of course, I'm very aware of mortality) ahead of me, and I was just getting started.

I tell you if I had only known the roaring 20's were going to last for 28 days in the summer of '21, I woulda done so much more.  

I mean, I almost slept with one guy and then I didn't because...I don't know the because.  I think I would have slept with him had I known, but it probably would have been very average so did I really miss anything?

And I did see a lot of great live music, enjoyed some fun flirtations, dated, vaped a lot of weed, and had some really great bourbon.  

For about four weeks. 

Then it ended.  Long before I thought it would.  I think the beginning of the end was the first week of August when I injured my sciatica while bike riding.  I thought to myself, oh well, I'll just take a week off and rest it and all will be well.

But that week turned into two, and now this week is September 1st.  In the interim, I moved.  That took a full two weeks.  I didn't leave my complex since I love it here, but I had to change apartments for reasons. 

Now fucking Delta is going to destroy the fall and winter, let's be honest here.  I have my family texting me long rants about "vaccine mandates" and vowing to die first.   Do I ask them?  No.  For some reason every time they feel a little inconvenienced they blame Democrats and since they live in bubbles, they really don't know any Democrats except me.  So guess who gets the brunt of their never ending rage? 

And it is never ending.  These people are seething.  Remember how you used to see them on viral videos coughing on masked grocery shoppers?  Well, they haven't changed.  

I already know I don't want to be in New York for Christmas.  But who knows what travel restrictions will like by then.   We have Americans who are taking horse deworming meds because they fear the vaccine is "experimental".  Can you imagine?

How do you survive in a country like this?  How does the country itself survive?  You just know they are going to vote some lunatic in.  2024's coming fast, and the 2022 midterms even faster.   These dumb, crazy motherfuckers are fuming and looking for payback on account of being inconvenienced by having to scam their phony vax cards online.   They got a trump card to play yet, trust me. 

We may all be taking horse meds soon enough.  

So here layeth my roaring 20's.  Gone almost before they began, unnoticed and unmourned by anyone but me. 

Buckle up because it's going to get rocky from here.  I still got some fight left in me so let's see what's next. 

Leave a comment