Long Island In The News Again; That's Never Good

Yep, Long Island is in the news again, and this never works out for us. I gotta tell you, I'm soooo embarrassed.  Commack, NY to be precise.  How cringe:

 


First of all, I have to let you know, that blonde lady at the very beginning?  That's a Staten Island voice if I ever heard one, and I am PISSED.

I hate Staten Island, the outfits alone.  And then the hair, and the...yep, voices.  They sent in a plant, and I don't just mean the obvious brain dead implication.  She's all that and less!  But she's trying to pass that Staten Island shit off as Long Island, and that I can't let fly.  It's just like a Staten Island chick though.  Always trying to hit out of their league.

Isn't it enough that we had Amy Fischer?  The Long Island Lolita, remember her?  My Gawd.  And don't forget Joey Buttafuoco, the poster boy for Long Island men. He really is.  You can't swing a Coach bag around here without hitting another Coach bag, and, a Joey Buttafuoco. 

Here are more candids of my wonderful neighbors:

 

 

 Look at them 1:08 in.  Is that not a scene from the Walking Dead?  Yep, my neighbors everybody.  

So, at that very intersection (it actually is a big intersection though you can't really tell from this video) I was shoved into oncoming traffic by a nascent tea partier during the summer of the townhalls.  That was 2009.  They hadn't put up those guardrails, how thoughtful of them to do so to protect these mooks.

Shoved into oncoming traffic, tauntingly and loudly asked what color underwear I was wearing.  Hit in the face with an American Flag.  All because I was taking part in a pro-ACA rally.  Trying to get people health care. Yep.  And I would bet anything that a few of the people in this crowd above were there that day too.

Maybe the meathead who shoved me into traffic even.  Who knows.  

Now, watch it again and check out the meathead who is stalking forward towards the reporter while bragging that he's "on hydroxychloroquine."  I watched that about 4 times and laughed harder with each viewing.  How many times do you think he practiced that word before he pronounced it in public?  That's a monosyllabic meathead if ever I saw one.  

These fools are such rubes.  They all believe that hydroxychloroquine is a magic pill that Trump discovered as the cure.  So this fool here can walk among crowds because Trump bestowed immunity on him.  They all really believe this too.  One of my brothers called me to breathlessly relay the miraculous story of Uncle Tony. He's not my Uncle Tony, thank God.  He's my sister-in-law's Uncle Tony.

Seems Uncle Tony came down with the rona.  Or so they say, he never did get a test.  And he was in the hospital about to be put on a ventilator.  He rose up, and demanded "DON'T you put me on a vent till you try hydroxychloroquine"!

And lo, though he "felt death gripping him, it was coming, it was coming", he was "pulled back from the brink" by Don the Con's magic beans.  And he was never vented, never tested, but almost dead, miraculously cured, and sent home the very next day.

I really wanted to ask if two nurses gave each other a sponge bath in front of him and then asked him if it would be okay if they sucked his dick, too, but my mom says I'm too crude.  

"Oh. Okay." was all I answered instead.

You know what haunts me sometimes?  What if I slept with one of these guys back in my misspent 20's?  And don't remember them now?  Let's face it, these men age hard, they're not going to look the same.  And I wasn't exactly circumspect.  Too many damn Fire Island Rocket Fuels!   

Well, let's not air dirty laundry.  

Moving on to the "King Cuomo" dude.  This is a public health crisis.  You either follow the recommendations or we will all be inside for a lot longer.  Period.  Period.

These selfish idiots.  Suffolk County is like the Alabama of NY, and I'm not proud of it.   I think about moving.  A lot.  I was looking around in the months just prior to the pandemic.  I planned on traveling to different states all summer this year.  To scout out a new home for myself. A new start.  You think I don't know my neighbors are all morons?  That Trumpsters fill every single 7-11 you walk into here?  I hate it.  My personal life had gotten to the point finally where I was free to make a move.

But the virus and Trump's abysmal failure of a response to it xnayed that.  

And so now I'm stuck.  In Trump County, USA.  At least I still have my sense of humor.  

And my face masks!  Which annoy them all.  I love to wear the VOTE blue mask.  I have seen so many old white men do a double take, stare, and then get very angry looking.  Don't worry!  I keep pepper spray on me at all times just in case one of them gets too excited and decides to move on me like a bitch. 

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