What got me thinking about this is the story going around that Rihanna and A$AP Rocky broke up because he was caught cheating. I really have doubts that this story is even true, but of course it made a big splash across the internet. For now, I'm taking it with a grain of salt.
But reading all the hot takes, I couldn't help but wonder (lol) is it true that men are only as faithful as their options?
This isn't an issue where I over relate and thus go off half-cocked. Cheating partners have not been an issue in my personal romantic relationships, as far as I know about anyway. But boy do I have family stories!
From what I've seen, up close and personal, women cheat a lot themselves. But do men cheat more? If it's true that men are only as faithful as their options, we have to be realistic here - your average woman has more options than your average guy.
First of all, men age like milk, let's be real. When I went to my high school reunion the men looked like the women's fathers. It was crazy! And even on an even playing field looks wise, women are still going to have more opportunities to cheat, because men are always hitting on us.
It makes me wonder if it's just a matter of women doing discretion better. Are we just less likely to be caught?
According to Google, who knows about these things, yes, men are more likely to physically cheat. Or, at least to admit to it. And women engage in emotional affairs at higher rates than men do. Or, at least admit to it.
Is an emotional affair, where sex is truly not happening on any level, really cheating? I get the emotional betrayal of your significant other confiding in and sharing things with another person. We always hear the terms "office wife" and "office husband".
I never had one of those so I really can't speak to them. Whenever I had an entanglement at work, and I did have them, they were physical.
To me the question that I would like answered is the one I began with; are men really only as faithful as their options?
You can believe you are with the greatest guy in the world, but if say, I don't know, who's considered hot these days? I can never keep up. Let's say if Ana de Armas, because I think she's so beautiful, were to hit on your man, is he going to turn her down?
But that's not fair because if say, Jason Momoa hit on you, are you going to turn him down?
Isn't this where the idea of that "free pass list" comes in? It's made jokingly because both parties know that Jason Momoa and Ana de Armas are not going to be hitting up their partners.
So, let's move into reality. If there are two hot pieces, not married to each other (not talking about swapping or anything like that), at the local Little League, and the hot woman hits on a husband, and the hot man hits on a wife, who is more likely to go for it?
I still believe it's the man, and self-reporting statistics back that up. But they are self-reported, and I do believe women are more discrete than men and less likely to consider it a flex to admit to an affair.
So my beliefs are just based upon personal observations. And yes, I do think men are largely only as faithful as their options, and women less so.
Women often blame themselves, or are made to do so. They shouldn't have gained weight, they got old, whatever bullshit society comes up with. But I don't believe it has anything to do with that. I think physical passion, the really exciting kind, what I call "the bed magic" wears off relatively early and we are made that way. It doesn't mean you're not still having good sex, but that early thrill and sexual fascination is gone.
How each individual deals with that truth differs. I think the only thing that differs between the sexes is that men are more likely to act on that. Sometimes I think it's because women are just too busy. Don't forget, once the kids are grown, and life calms down, it is the woman who is far more likely to file for divorce.