I Wish Hell Were Real. It Should Be.

I wish hell were real.

I enjoy picturing the scenes of what would happen when the GOP/NRA gunners show up.

And they are given their moment to dance for the devil.

"But if I had voted to outlaw guns only outlaws would have guns!" they'd dance. "Guns don't kill people, people kill people!" they'd desperately screech, as they danced faster. 

And then their moment would be up

And then the devil would smile.

And the screaming would begin.

I wish hell were real.

I enjoy picturing what would happen when the GOP/NRA gunners show up.

And they are given their moment to dance for the devil.

"But it's in the Constitution!" they would cry as they danced.  "It was our Founding Fathers!  It was them!  Is James Madison here?  May I please speak to James Madison!"

And then the devil would smile.

And the screaming would begin. 

I wish hell were real.

I enjoy picturing what would happen when Joe Manchin showed up.  

And was given his moment to dance for the devil.

"I voted FOR gun control!" he would cry out.  "I just refused to vote to bypass the filibuster.  I knew we wouldn't have the votes if I didn't vote to get rid of the filibuster.  But I performed!  I voted for gun control.  Yes I did!  And there is really nothing you can do anyway.  There was no way to stop gun violence.  Everyone knows that!"

And then the devil would smile.

And the screaming would begin. 

I wish hell were real.  I enjoy picturing what would happen when suburban white voters showed up.

And were given their moment to dance for the devil. 

"Well, I was always FOR gun control.  Do you think I wanted babies being slaughtered in kindergarten!  Of course I didn't!  But I voted Republican because I am fiscally conservative!  And really,  the Democrats wouldn't change anything anyway.  There's really nothing you can do.  There's no way to stop the gun violence.  Everyone knows that!  Can I speak to your manager?  Where is the manager?!"

And then the devil would smile.

And the screaming would begin.

I wish hell were real.  But I know hell is here, on earth.  And the screaming is done by the  little children we send into the American war zone, our schools.

Bow your head in a moment of silence for their sacrifice.  Sure, they had no say in the matter.  But you sacrificed them anyway.   They are on our battlefield right now, doing practice drills, learning to hide when the man with the gun comes for them.  It isn't much to ask of them and after all, you need your taxes low and your guns to make you feel safe in your home at night.  

And Ted Cruz needs the NRA cash.  

I mean, isn't it all worth it?

So, a moment of silence please for our tiniest American prey.  And then you may carry on, as you always do.  But at least you can send them off to their battlefields with this:

May the odds be ever in their favor.