Hi I'm Stacy, Future Mother

So, I went and got my hair done last week.  I know, I know, is it really that safe yet?  Do you really need your hair done?   The answer to both questions is likely no, but feels like yes.  

We're under precautions now, so there were only two hairdressers in that day.  A total of four people in the shop.

Luckily for me, the topic of vaccinations was brought up.  By my hairdresser first.  She wanted to know if I was going to get vaccinated.  

"As soon as I can," I responded.

"Oh really!  No hesitation there huh?  Most people hesitate."

I asked why.

"Oh I don't know, people want to see what happens."

Reader, I have no idea what the fuck that means.

I mean, if someone tells me they want to see what happens in WandVision, I'm there.  I'm on that page.  

"Yeah me too, I can't wait till next week!"

You want to wait and see what happens with the once-in-one-hundred year pandemic that's killed half a million Americans and millions more worldwide?  Or, you want to wait and see what happens with the vaccine?  

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GONNA HAPPEN?

Spoiler alert:  Millions more will die without vaccinations and being vaccinated will protect you from dying. 

No need to tune in next week fools!

My hairdresser must have noticed the bewildered expression I was no doubt wearing because she said, and I swear to God, this is what she said:

"Well, I want to have kids."

Look, I have followed the conversation thread of many an idiot, but sometimes even I get lost.

"Okay," I responded because I really didn't know how to react to this revelation.

She nodded.

What the fuck!

Then the other hairdresser chimed in to let me know that she too wants kids, and she too is gonna "wait and see what happens" before getting the vaccine.

Then the fourth person in the room, the other client, piped in.  It seems that she used to  think she didn't wanted to get the vaccine, she too wanted to "wait and see what happens".  But then when she got "the email" saying she could get it because of her job (I didn't ask, and so I don't know what her job is) she had a change of heart.

"I was like, hmmmm," was how she cleverly explained the epiphany she experienced while reading said email.

"So you got it?" she was asked.

"I did.  I didn't have any reaction to it either, except for a headache."

"But I've already had my kids," she thoughtfully added. 

That's when I realized they actually thought that getting vaccinated could damage their future fetuses.  That maybe they were gonna give birth to Klingons or something.  So they are waiting to see what happens to the babies of vaccinated women.

Reader, I nearly fainted from the stupidity.

But I think the worse thing was that neither are pregnant or married.  One of them does have a boyfriend. 

What I'm saying is, who knows how many years off these phantom children are, but in the minds of these women, the decisions they make today, are based on their future status as mothers. 

Not on their own health.  Not on the heath of their elderly or high-risk family  members.  Not on the health of their communities.  Not on the health of the country, or the world.

But on the health of a fetus they may some day be carrying.  

They are already mothers in their own minds, even though they have yet to meet the fathers of these hypothetical babies. 

And so when they state:

"Well, I want to have children."

You are supposed to react by gravely nodding, and murmuring, "of course of course, you are doing the right thing in that case."

Rather than looking at them like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU BABBLING ABOUT?"

This was a test I did not pass.  

Now I know we are fucked.  We have the usual anti-vax contigent, the Jenny McCarthy, Robert Kennedy Jr moron brigade type, right?  Now, we have to throw in the looney tune "Bill Gates is gonna put a microchip in my ass!" group.  And the Trumpsters who refuse to get vaccinated to make a political point.

"I'm gonna die to prove Covid is a Democrat hoax!"

You know the type.

And as if all these America Idiots weren't enough, now we got the young women who view themselves as walking uteruses, and who can only see themselves in their roles as future moms.  Young women who have probably been taking prenatal vitamins since turning 18. 

We aren't reaching herd immunity anytime soon folks.