I think it's so funny that HBO has a new series called FBoy Island, which apparently is something akin to Bachelor In Paradise. As everyone I know is aware by now, I am looking for a summer 2021 FBoy. Though I just say fuckboy. I'm not good at being coy unless I'm roleplaying.
It's set in the Cayman Islands, lucky them. Here on Long Island, which for sure is no paradise, we make do with what we have.
So last night I went on a date with a summer 2021 fuckboy contender. I consider them auditions. I met him last week in Sag Harbor, he's pretty cute. Good arms too, and we know how important that is.
He's not a Trumpster and he's age appropriate for me, so both those things are an improvement over recent auditions.
We went to Insignia in Smithtown, the only steakhouse I've ever been in that has a tofu dish. And a really good one! Since I am a vegetarian this is a big fucking deal as Joe Biden would say.
It's a pretty great restaurant, so he passed the test of not being cheap.
He kept telling me how beautiful I am, which makes me uncomfortable because I don't think I'm beautiful. So I always wonder what men are looking for from me when they say that. I always think about one of the big loves of my life, Jim, and how he used to say all the time; "you know you're very cute. A little too cute for your own good."
I'm too old to be called cute now, it would be annoying. And I know I have a sexy look, so I get that, but I'm not beautiful and don't know how to react to that. I just say thank you, but I wish they would drop it.
The only man who was an exception was the hot blacksmith I was with from about 2012 to early 2016. Because sometimes he'd be talking and he'd just blurt out "you're just so goddamned gorgeous I forgot what I was saying."
Somehow I actually believed him. lol. Well, some men just have that touch you know? They can make you believe anything. I remember a friend of mine was with a man who was so good at that he got her to believe she didn't know what her own underwear looked like. After she found a pair in her bed that she said weren't hers. She actually wavered and was asking us, do you think I could have bought them and not remember?
I mean, sure, but did you wear them and not remember? LOL
Anyway, I digress. So I did have a great time Friday night, it was definitely a good date. I can't say I felt a fire when he kissed me, but it was pleasant enough.
I decided to try radical honesty with him, which is something I normally eschew with men. I really don't like telling them the truth, and sometimes I even roleplay with them when they don't know we're roleplaying. I know, I'm awful, but I've seen and heard it all and a girl has to make her own fun sometimes.
I told him straight out I am not looking for a relationship, but rather a friendship that is also eventually sexual.
He seemed to take that okay, but who knows. I really can't have a relationship right now even if I wanted to because I did have a couple of issues come up at my checkup, and I don't know what the next few months are going to look like. I don't want to drag anyone into that.
I just want a little fun and someone who is smart and sexy and I can have a nice time with.
I really don't know if this guy is it. I would have to go out with him a couple more times.
Tonight, I am going very local, to Shennanigans in Ronkonkoma. My friend has been doing a Karaoke contest that began in Eleanor's, but moves around to different bars, and tonight it's Shennanigans.
I can't wait to see if I can find out what it used to be called. Because I used to go there a lot in another life, when my first serious boyfriend had the mechanic shop right next to it. I wonder if anyone there will know?
This is really going to be like walking into the past for me. But I am sure it will wear off after five minutes and I'll have a good time.
Update: Okay so the name used to be PJ Clarke's. As soon as the bartender said it, I yelled, YES, that's it! I don't know why I couldn't remember that.
It was a big crowd for such a local place. It would be easy to find lots of Fboys there, but I don't know if any of them would be my type. Tonight I really couldn't because my friend's boyfriend showed up and I have to make a good impression since they just started going out. It's not a good idea to get on the bad side of the new bf. I might go back and find out, we'll see.