A lot of people might think, oh Trump's gone and America's back baby! Yeah, we're back, and still the crazy shit house rats of the world. I mean really, do we have all the crazies and cranks here? I know that can't be possible...and yet.
Guys, millions of Americans fervently, religiously, believe that Hillary Clinton had a side hustle going selling pizzas with pedo toppings. That Hillary Clinton bought a Washington D.C. Pizza place and sold children out of the basement there!
"I'll take a personal pan pizza, hold the peperoni, and oh, add in that kid on the right."
This absolutely bug-fucking nuts insanity eventually morphed into Qanon. Which my mom dubbed "whackAnon". I like it so that's what I call them now.
WhackAnon adherents believe that "democrats and Hollywood celebrities like Tom Hanks" kidnap children, torture them...wait sidebar here:
*They torture the children because it does something to the victims' blood and turns it into a magical elixir that keeps the torturers young and pretty.
After which they of course, rape the children.
For a long time I just couldn't believe these people existed in any real number, but folks, they do. And they were among the mix of extremist nutters who attempted to overturn our government on January 6th.
And they believed that on inauguration day, Biden and other Democrats were going to be arrested on Trump's orders. And then summarily executed. And Trump would be sworn in again.
Now, if you were looking for a hero to fight child sex abuse, who better than Jeffrey Epstein's BFF of decades, and owner of the Miss Teen USA who used his power to walk in on underage contestants while they were undressed.
Makes total sense.
The WAPO has a good rundown on how the WhackAnons are handling the fact that no American officials were executed on inauguration day and Trump flew away.
Some of the more clever ones have caught on.
“It simply doesn’t make sense that we all got played,” one QAnon channel on Telegram said.
It really doesn't bro! I mean, it makes much more sense that this whole child torture-magic elixir plot got started in Hillary Clinton's secret pizza joint!
Others are doubling down on the whack.
"Some followers noted that 17 flags — Q being the 17th letter of the alphabet — flew on the stage as Trump delivered a farewell address.
“17 flags! come on now this is getting insane,” said one post on a QAnon forum devoted to the “Great Awakening,” the quasi-biblical name for QAnon’s utopian end times. “I don’t know how many signs has to be given to us before we ‘trust the plan,’” one commenter said."
Yeah, how many signs do you need man? What are you, some kind of dummy?
Anyway, I know most of my family are Trumpsters, but it hadn't occurred to me they could be WhackAnons too. I don't know why. We are talking about people who looked upon a man who paints his face bright orange, under his eyes bright white, and dyes his hair the color of urine, and thought "there's the man who's going to fix my life now!"
This was some shit even for me and I have some experience projecting dumb shit onto the bar drunk after a long night.
But I just never connected those dots. Maybe I didn't believe I could know anyone quite that fucking crazy.
But I do.
Here is my cousin:
"Two words for fellow Trump Supporters:
So this shit means "by whose authority".
They are so funny with their old English right? Like, "hey say it in Latin bro, we are gonna impress the shit out of people with this."
" But what does it mean?"
"It means; By Whose Authority"
"OMG! OMG! That's genius! That is some Shakespeare shit right there man. People's minds will blow!"
"Yeah, we got Biden on the run now."
Anyway, according to my cousin, this writ will force the open airing of the "thousands and thousands" of witnesses to voter fraud. Someone posted in response:
"already lost in every challenge lmfao"
So one of his FB friends is aware that all of Trump's lawyers went to court and lost all their cases. Maybe this friend even knows that judges asked them "where is the fraud?" and Trump's lawyers answered "WE ARE NOT CLAIMING FRAUD, YOUR HONOR".
But I dunno, I'm not saying his friend is that smart.
Anyway, here's my cousin's reply:
"Now you're just being ignorant. Look it up"
Do you believe this shit? LOL Well, I can't make it up folks!
I looked up the term Quo Warranto on Twitter, and sure enough, it traced right back to a WhackAnon site, and all the whacks were on it.
So enjoy President Biden while you can because the Whacks got a plan, and they trust the plan, and it's Trump's plan and you gotta trust Trump's Plan, okay?
I laugh but I also have a heavy heart reading that. I remember a day long ago when we went to a picnic at a Long Island park, and we kiddies got lost in the woods exploring. And my older cousin led me out.
And now he is this. Severely mentally ill. A sitting duck for these crazy cultists. The leaders of whom are often not crazy but rather making a good living off of all the overpriced merch they sold to rubes over the past 4 years.
In fact, they're a lot like Trump. Conmen. Conwomen. Cons.
Yes, they're dangerous. They are very dangerous. I do not forget this, not for one moment.
But they're also pathetic. So pathetic. So lost. NOT economically anxious, people. These are not the economically anxious.
They're lost though. Their lives lost all meaning long ago and so they went on a search and when you go searching for some "meaning" that you couldn't find within yourself, people, there will be two to take you.
There will always be two to take you.
"Oh, but ain't that America
For you and me
Ain't that America
Something to see, baby
Ain't that America
Home of the free, yeah
Little pink houses
For you and me
Oooh, little baby
For you and me"