Chris Pratt: Not Just the Worst Chris

You know, giving Pratt the title of "worst Chris" is really short-changing him.  This dude is The Worst, period.

We don't need to stack him up against the best Chris, (it's Evans, period)  to see it either.  He's the fucking worse if you put him up against Bob the moron from down the block. 

So no more of this "Worst Chris" title, honestly it's an insult to the other Chrises to put Pratt in their category,  and I demand a recount until we land on, simply, "The Worst". 

Take a look at his latest fuckery:



His wife is Katherine Schwarzenegger, and just to remind you here, she's a fucking KENNEDY.  She coulda been anything.  She coulda done anything.  She coulda married anyone.

Is this her ambition?  To be a fucking poodle to this overrated, bland lump of oatmeal who wakes up every morning and goes about his job of defining mediocrity? 

So first I am going to check on the things that jumped out at ME, right away, as a woman.

"We met in church."  "Her heart is pure and it belongs to me."

Madonna/Whore complex here.  He has found his Madonna, and God help her.  Also, someone better send her a good vibrator, she'll need it.  The Madonna figure in this kind of man's life always does.   Good sex is for the Whore.  

"Find you somebody that looks at you like that!!"

Yes, men, find somebody who looks at you like she's a poodle and you just invented bacon dog treats. 

"She’s given me an amazing life, a gorgeous healthy daughter, she chews so loudly that sometimes i put in my ear buds to drown it out, but that’s love! "  "She helps me with everything."

She's given me,  she does, she looks at me...she gives gives gives.

And, he just had to neg her there about the chewing.  That's negging.  Imagine being negged by your husband and thinking you have it good?  

And what does he do for her?  

"In return, periodically, I open a jar of pickles. That’s the trade."

I'm sure in this meathead's brain, this is supposed to be a hilarious joke.  But it's not funny.  It's toxic.

There is a certain kind of Christian couple who loudly preach religion and traditional gender roles in marriage, and this is it here, and it's fucking toxic.  It's toxic to women, and frankly, it's toxic to men who don't happen to make 20 mil a movie plus backend. 

" My greatest treasure right next to my Ken Griffey Jr Upper Deck Rookie card. Which if you know, you know is saying a lot. It’s her birthday in about 6 weeks. So if I don’t get her anything, I’ll tell her to look back on this post. Love you honey."

Here's another calling card of the toxic male.  Comparing his wife to a possession.  While also belittling her because she's neck and neck with a fucking baseball card.  Oh, and he might not even bother getting her a birthday present!  Or, maybe he'll open a jar of pickles that day!  Happy Birthday honey!  

I would throw that open jar at his head so fast...

You couldn't  pay me to be in this marriage, and let's face it, she never needed the money, so being raised as a Kennedy and also, being the daughter of Arnold Schwarzenegger, who famously impregnated the family's housekeeper, really did a number on her.  Money doesn't buy everything, I guess that's true enough. 

Now, let's get to the part that didn't jump out at me as much as this toxic misogyny, but did cross my mind fleetingly.  And then I saw others talking about it and realized that I should have paid more attention, because yeah, it's also really fucked up.

"She’s given me an amazing life, a gorgeous healthy daughter..."

Now, I do think that many parents say "thank God they're healthy" and it's really innocent and totally understandable.  But Pratt has a son with first wife, Anna Faris, and he is apparently special needs.  A gorgeous little boy!  But he does have some special needs.  And I feel that as a parent of a special needs child, you would be super-sensitive about ever making any remark that could in any way make your special needs child feel less-than. 

And this didn't pass that standard.  Now, about all of the misogyny he'll say he was just joking, and you know how feminists are, we can't take a fucking joke. Typical male misogynist excuses and counter-accusations. 

And he'll say everyone is crazy about the healthy remark, and he may even send his poodle-wife out to cry and defend him, the way she had to when he got his snowflake feelings hurt over the internet calling him the worst Chris last year. 

Because she also does that for him.  

But if I were the mother if his eldest son, the shit would be hitting the fan today, I can tell you that. 

I'm so disgusted with this guy that I really don't want to see anything he's in.  That includes his upcoming Marvel Guardians 3.   Some of these guys, they just gotta go.  There is so much entertainment out there now, I can miss a Marvel film here and there and get by, you know?

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