Chadwick Boseman

Everyone always says 2020 sucks.  And it does.  But I remember when 2016 sucked, and everyone was rooting for 2017.  Come on 2017!  You know what 2017 gave us right?

Face it, the past four years have been hell.  A horrible, awful, no good, terrible, disgusting hell.   And I don't know about you, but I'm barely making it over the finish line, if I even get there.  I figured I can drag myself across assuming Biden wins in November, and then assuming Trump doesn't incite a civil war attempting to stay in office.   Two very large ifs. 

I didn't need this.  The world didn't need this.  You didn't need to take the utterly decent human being and inspiration who was Chadwick Boseman, and the symbol that was his Black Panther.  It was enough already.  You didn't have to do this. 

I go on Twitter and Elijah Cummings is dead.

I go on Twitter and John Lewis is dead.

I go on Twitter and FORTY THREE year old Chadwick Boseman, is dead.

And there is Trump.  In the White House.  On my TV.  Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.  Trump. Trump. Trump.  And look,  I know that's not how it works.  I know we can't trade lives.  I know that decency matters and that when you look into the abyss the abyss looks back and you need to watch your ass with that shit.  I know it.

But shit this hurts.  It's not fair.  It's not just.  It's not okay.

I read the beautiful words of Ryan Coogler, Black Panther director.  These really stood out to me but you should read everything he wrote, you can find it here:

“I spent the last year preparing, imagining and writing words for him to say, that we weren’t destined to see," wrote Coogler.

Damn that hurts. He brought black icons to life, not just T'Challa.  An amazingly gifted actor and beautiful human being.  

So I won't say fuck you 2020, because this is so much deeper than that nonsense.  This past 4 years has shown us that the world is turning dark.  America is turning dark.  I don't know if there's a morning after, I pray there is, I always used to have faith there would be.

But I am no longer sure.  I always said I would never give up, never say die, but the death of Chadwick hurts.  It feels like the universe saying one more time, nah, the good is gone, this is the world now.  And it's bleak.  It's as bleak as Melania Trump's eyes.  And as dark as Donald Trump's soul.  And it smells like Don Jr's underwear.

It's hell.  

But I'll remember to "look for the helpers" and redouble my personal commitment to be one of them, always.   I  no longer have faith good will win, but I know there is honor in the fight itself.  What you do still matters.  If it didn't, they wouldn't spend so much time trying to stop you from doing it, mocking you for caring.

Godspeed Chadwick.  You will be missed.  Forever.