Been Vaccinated? Are Your Keys Sticking To Your Head?

Are liberals creating their own army of Magnetos? 

Testimony going off the rails now.

Tenpenny is claiming there is metal in the vaccine that causes forks to stick to your forehead. She saw videos of it on the internet, you see

Also promoting the 5G cell phone network vaccine theory. This is the anti-vaccine "expert witness" pic.twitter.com/sPpuAqmHba

— Tyler Buchanan (@Tylerjoelb) June 8, 2021

Isn't this exactly the kind of thing they would pull?  And they woulda gotten away with it too if it weren't for all of the people suddenly noticing they couldn't find their car keys.  And when they went to look for them, where did they find them? 

Stuck to their foreheads!

"Honey have you seen my car keys?"

Honey turns around.

"OMG they're on your face!"

How many times did this tragic scene have to play out in how many God-fearing, Christian households before the liebrels got caught?!

Do you see the fools sitting behind her NODDING?

Shit like this is why I don't like to leave my home.

I just tried to stick a nickel to my head, because I remember doing this as a child.  And you know what, it does stick for a second or two.  You have to press it though.  And it falls off too quickly to really fuck around.  Because I would love to stick a bunch of coins to my head and go to Meat Farms, aptly named because it's where all the meatheads gather and shop.

You should see the bumper stickers in the parking lot around here.  It sucks because even though I'm a vegetarian, I like the store.  They have an amazing deli.  I still go and try and ignore the meatheads.  This place attracts so many meatheads they had to hire security during all of 2020.   Because so many of my lovely neighbors would attempt to get in without a mask.

The security guys were hot and had good forearms though, so there's an upside. 

Anyway, how I'd love to go in there with nickels stuck to my head and really freak them out.

"Lady you've got nickels stuck to your forehead."

"What?!  I do!  Where?  OMG, let me look."

"OMG I just got my second vaccination.  Is this a coincidence or DID FAUCI TURN ME INTO A MAGNET!"

How are these people so fucking stupid?  These are the same dopes who believe Hillary Clinton owned a DC Pizza shop she was selling little kids out of.

These are the same people who believe Donald Trump is a Godly man. 

These fucking fools right?

What are their IQ's?  Does this even have anything to do with IQ, which measures something but no one is really that sure what?   Is it naivety?  Gullibility?  Or just plain "this is what I wanna believe because I hate you" bullshit? 

I really don't know.  But I gotta believe there is some stupidity involved.  Maybe it doesn't explain all of this, but it plays its role. 

As someone who loses literally everything, I can only wish Doctor Fauci would magnetize me, but sadly, all the vaccine did was drastically reduce my risk of dying from Covid until it is basically negligible.

I developed no superhero or supervillain powers.  

Which is a shame because I'd love to become a female supervillain.