An Officer and a McMuffin

Everybody be quiet!  We've got a Crying White Woman emergency broke out this morning when some poor lady had to wait for an egg mcmuffin at the drive-thru. Heads are gonna have to roll so let's investigate:



My God, what is happening in this country when a white woman has to wait for an Egg McMuffin?  Weren't there any black customers they could have forced to the back of the line?   

And a cop!  One of America's finest, just wanting to protect and serve.



And Officer Karen is traumatized by the wait, you can tell.  She breaks down!  Crying and crying and weeping and wailing.  Over an Egg McMuffin, so, by the way can we get her gun from her?  Should a woman who gets so traumatized by a wait at a drive-thru be armed right now?  I'm just worried for her, certainly not for any black people she might shoot or 75 yo religious peace protesters whose heads she might crack open.  You know, all that shit comes with paperwork.  Like, reams and reams of paperwork.  And Officer Karen should not be subjected to further trauma.  Not after this McMuffin incident, which I'm traumatized just watching.

Lord have mercy on Miss Scarlett O'Muffin.  It's like white women can't even get something to eat anymore in this country.  I hope Trump is going to do something about this, and I personally have emailed and phoned his number one lackey, Mr. Lindsey Graham.  I am waiting to hear back.

Now, my grandma always said, Catherine you got to put yourself in someone else's shoes before you judge them.  So I am trying to wear some Officer Karen shoes and I'm wondering why is she so terrified of this wait and not being able to "see" her McMuffin being made?  Could it be because of that mass poisoning of cops by none other than, fucking Shake Shack?  How did I know it would be Shake Shack!  They're evil, that's how I knew!  One time I went in there and I was really hungry and thirsty at the same time, not hangry, but hursty, and so I ordered two shakes, and do you know what happened?

I got a gottamned stomach ache the likes of which rendered me on the toilet bowl popping Imodiums like I was at a Vicodin party. 



Wait, so that story was fake?  Okay, but look, it could have been true, you have to admit that.  And the fact that this fake story coulda been true was enough to traumatize Office Karen, which is just another fact that fact-hating liberals want to deny.




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